Talk about a helluh late update. barely write in this thing now. maaaan, things get so good. and then they go bad. ughhhh. i have a friend of mine who once called me her "favorite 7th grader" when she was an 8th grader. and we were helluh coool. and now shes trippin bout me hanging out with her friends. stupid jealous girl. saying she doesnt like me because of that?! something so stupid and dumb!? shes going to let something so retarded ruin our friendship. th? i mean my gawwwwd. i don't think ive had someone supposidly mature get so mad at me over something so stupid. i didnt know people get like that in highschool. gaaaaaaay. also, my dad wants me to apologize to my stepmother about something that happened helluh long ago. i mean why should it matter anymore? couldnt she just drop it. i really have to be the bigger person on this one. because i didnt even start the whole thing to begin with. she had to go and say something HELLUH RUDE to me. and shes lucky i let the stupid thing go, and now they wanna bring it up? WTF?! also, i just fully thought about this. my brothers coming back. after supposidly moving on and getting a life. i mean yes im happy that i get to see my brother and the baby, but thats gunna bring stress, problems. ALL OVER AGAiN! and theres going to be 5 people living in that 2bedroom apartment!? my sister, mom, brother, my sisters boyfriend, the baby [ 1/2], and me who commonly visits [1/2]. my poor mothers going to go insane. plus my brothers going to have problems. i already know it. no i sense it helluh much. and i really dont like the feeling im getting. :[ plus im drifting from helluh people. i mean helluh. my bestfriend doesnt even have time for me anymore. shes in all these clubs, or helping other people, or having to kick it with somebody because she hasnt kicked it with them in a while. but what she needs to notice is that im now one of those people that she barely gets to kick it with now. and i hate it. 4ril. and im tired of it. SICK AND TIRED. she always has other friends or family. she cancels on me for others. but never cancels on others for me. yet here iam always canceling things JUST FOR HER. whats wrong with this picture? yeah, exactly. and then when i do see her its like quick little chats. and then at school, theres always interuptions. and it pisses me off! because to me, its like you talk to her more than i do. im her bestfriend. let me have my time. back off beeezys. i really do get mad. its helluh pisses me off. and i dont wanna add stress to her like everybody else. but if i were to chose causing her more stress or helluh drifting from her and letting others become VERY close to her. well of course i, the bestfriend would have to choose whats better for her. even tho i wanna be selfish and pick the other. really i dont wanna cause her more stress, but i never get to hangout with her. shes always got events, or days shes spending with someone specific. and shes saying shes bored and needs another hobby!? thats the last thing she needs. what she needs, is to use that time wisely on ME! uggghhhh. kay im done.